Trumpism's & Dating...

I was reading an article about the Apprentice and some of the rules that Donald Trump and his apprentice assistants had come up with about business. While reading a lot of them I saw a huge relation to how these same rules also apply to dating, as crazy as it might sound.

Donald Trump is a famous billionaire who has endured ups and downs for a number of decades. It appears a large portion of his wealth has been made in Real Estate. Recently he has had a popular reality series NBC has been showing known as the Apprentice. The Reality Show isn't all frivolous as a lot of the other reality shows around. At the center of every episode are real gems on how to climb a corporate ladder, how to lead, how to stand out from the crowd and even how to fail and avoid getting the boot.

The Apprentice centers on a competition for a job working for the Billionaire Donald Trump. Every episode features some sort of business task or some sort of competition. At the end of each episode some of the competitors are fired which means they leave the show and miss out on the opportunity to work for My Trump. This takes place in the Boardroom where members are encouraged to evaluate their teammates performance, abilities, work ethics. The guy who makes the biggest errors tends to be the one "fired". Beyond winning the competition, each individual team member must act in a manner that earns him or her respect as a project manager or team member.

Some of the gems of the show for thought.

1. Think Like A Winner. Donald Trump's most profound comment (and first commandment) is, "Winning is everything." He explained that while there is no better feeling... the ability to think like a winner is the key to being one. Those who take their eyes off the prize wind up hearing two little words: you're fired.

This relates to dating as somebody who feels confident can be confident. A person who feels he has already won a battle has a huge edge over somebody who feels he has a lot of obstacles to overcome. A person who feels he is a winner is a winner as your beliefs are what shape you. The person you wish to win over will be heavily more attracted to somebody who believes in themselves than somebody who doesn't.

2. Polish Your Interview Skills. The importance of exceptional interview skills became crucial as the field narrowed to the final four contestants in episode 14. Kelly, Jennifer M., Kevin and Stacy underwent a grueling series of job interviews with four of the top business leaders in the world. The two candidates left standing after this process, Kelly and Jennifer M., demonstrated superior ability to think on their feet. Some of the spontaneous answers lobbed by Kevin and Sandy made viewers cringe. It quickly became clear who had the 'right stuff' to survive the hot seat.

This second rule can be applied to having good communication skills. Somebody who can think on their feet and express their thoughts easily can communicate their feelings much more easily. Somebody who is also good at interviews will know what to say that can open somebody up to a whole new level. They will allow a great sense of rapport to be built quickly and be very deep.

3. Lead Strong or Play Along. Getting their team of 'alphas' to follow without question was a challenge for each project manager. Some ruled with an iron fist, others used manipulation and guilt. Some didn't handle it at all. In episode 11, Wes took the lead in a task to create an ad campaign for Levi's Jeans. Maria, one of his teammates, thought she had this task together and angrily told Wes to back off, while she seized control. Maria was so busy throwing her weight around, she missed the primary focus of jeans advertising... the 'butt shots'. This single oversight cost the team dearly. Later, in The Boardroom, Wes was fired for failing to control Maria, and she was fired for posing as a know-it-all. Two for the price of one turned out to be all in a day's work for Mr. Donald Trump.

On this and dating. One of the things we teach our students in workshops is to lead and never hesitate. When a student sees strong indications of interest it is his responsibility to act on them and follow up. If a student fails to lead than the interest level will soon drop to a very low level quickly. Learning to play along can also be taken as a way to see the signals and be aware of them. When somebody is showing interest it's best to play along and let them be interested than giving them something else.

4. Step Up; Take Responsibility. Finger-pointing was rampant among teams on The Apprentice. If you were really slick about it, laying blame off on one of your teammates could help you survive another day. If you weren't... oh well.

This is a common thing I see with some students when I hear about what they have done before working with Fidentia in a workshop. They fail to take responsibility for their own actions. This is done in so many ways its crazy. First, if they have a bad date, they blame the date a lot; where they went, what they did, others around. Yet they never look at themselves and wonder if they could have done anything different to improve the situation. The only way to learn from mistakes is to first realize you made a mistake in the first place.

Another example is guys who use different systems for dating. There are many programs out there. I can make ALL of them work. When a student can not make something work, they tend to first want to blame the system instead of themselves. So they are on a constant search of dating systems, never realizing that each system has had some success. They can not learn if they do not take responsibility for their own actions.

5. Resist the Impulse to Be Impulsive. The game provides that the winning project manager receive an exemption from firing should his or her team lose the following week - an Apprentice "Get Out of Jail Free" card. Bradford won week one... but lost in week two. He had clearly been the hardest working and most productive on his team and Mr. Trump seemed to especially favor him. Moreover, he had the exemption and could not be fired. All he had to do was sit back and make insightful comments about his teammates. But Bradford let his cockiness get in the way of sound business judgment. He bragged to Mr. Trump that he was so confident of his performance he was willing to give up his exemption. Trump accepted Bradford's offer... and then fired him, for making an unwise and impulsive decision. It was a harsh but instructive consequence for acting in a rash manner.

One of the things I can think of with this is somebody who is too impulsive is not paying attention to others. A relationship is a two way street involving two parties. When somebody is being impulsive and the other person isn't respective, this creates a dead end.

6. Instill Confidence in Your Team. Both of the final two contestants, Kelly and Jennifer M., demonstrated how to respect and inspire their co-workers. Choosing people you trust and with whom you have mutual respect goes a long way toward success. In the final episode, eight of the previously fired teammates were brought back to become the support team for the final task. Jennifer and Kelly were allowed to take turns choosing their team members. Kelly took a stronger role with his team, expecting more of each of them, while Jennifer delegated the heavy lifting to herself. In the end, both sets of teams did a great job for their PMs, but Kelly's team proved more loyal and spoke more highly of his leadership abilities. Their confidence in him had an impact on the final outcome.

This can be applied to dating by installing confidence in who you are attracted to. When you are interested in them and extremely confident, others will sense your true feelings. When they can sense your feelings, they will mirror them. Who wants to be around somebody who takes away their confidence?

7. Watch What You Say. Both talking too much and saying the wrong thing can hurt you in business. Jennifer C. was an example of both errors and their consequences. Every time she appeared in The Boardroom, Jennifer was admonished by both Mr. Trump and his property manager, Carolyn, for talking when she should have been listening to others. Later, after making a demeaning comment about two women customers in an episode, she was booted from the show. To add injury to her insult, when the show finally aired, she was also fired from her real world job for that comment.

This applies to dating where the idea of listening is just as important as talking. Telling somebody they are pretty when they are trying to make a point and have something important to say is not what they want to hear. The same would go for things such as negative hits or being cocky and funny, which are terms used in the seduction community. A negative hit is a slight insult which is supposed to be insulting but not seem like you meant it. I do not usually endorse this. It is to try to convey you are not really interested in your target person so they let their guard down. Somebody who is being very cocky and funny can do so at the wrong time too. When a person is showing signs of interest they are asking for rapport. Giving them answers that are cocky and funny will actually break rapport and chase a lot of people away.

8. Know When to Listen. During another visit to The Boardroom, Trump chastised (National Debate Champion) Andy for not standing up and arguing on his own behalf. Andy shot back to Mr. Trump that part of being a debate champ is in knowing when to talk and when to listen. A short and sweet argument that paid off.

I think this and how it applies to dating and seduction is very obvious. Listening is a key part of communication.

9. Keep it Strictly Business. Viewers were told over and over that The Apprentice contestants were culled from over a million applicants and were said to be the best of the very best. This being so, one wouldn't expect the male participants to lose their composure when attractive women crossed their paths, mid-task. And yet, there was Raj. In addition to an unending stream of inappropriate comments, Raj stopped just short of a butt wiggle and a "woooo, whooo " whenever a beautiful woman was within ten feet. And while this behavior did not directly lead to his being fired, it did (often) cause him to lose focus and take his eye off the prize. In fact, Raj was ultimately fired for letting an important detail slide making sure the toilet was installed in a home he was charged with remodeling.

This is a little bit more difficult to summarize for dating. Somebody who lacks focus tends to lack drive. When you really have a goal in mind going after 20 different things usually gets somebody nowhere.

10. Avoid Showing Your Assets. This one should be a no-brainer, but since it actually happened, maybe not. Fairly late in the game, in episode 13, Ivana was desperate for a win. Clutching at straws, she offered to pull down her skirt and flash her underwear to a strange businessman on the street if he would pay her twenty dollars for a candy bar worth one dollar. He did... and then she did... So, it was no surprise that Ivana wound up in The Boardroom, having to explain this gaff to Mr. Trump. She claimed her action as a 'gimmick.' But this taught us another valuable lesson - know when you have done something inappropriate and face it head on. When she refused to acknowledge that she crossed a line, the shock, dismay and controversy surrounding her behavior was palpable.

Well this is true but there is a time to show you're assets and a time not to show your assets. When you first meet somebody, common sense says don't take off your pants when introducing yourself.

To summarize all of this a lot of the rules that help somebody get ahead in business can also help them get ahead dating other To learn more about "The Apprentice" go to http://www.nbc.com/

About the author:

Robert Torrey is one of the trainers for Fidentia a company that teaches men dating confidence. For more info go to their website. http://www.fidentia.org/