Diary Of A Peculiar Soul: Deal Breakers

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Deal Breakers

Good Morning Folks---

Most conflicts are really about communication and control issues – can be resolved when both people are willing to learn. But some conflicts are true deal-breakers.

WHAT ARE YOUR DEAL BREAKERS IN A RELATIONSHIP?

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While there are no absolutes, here are the things that would probably send me packing:

COMMUNICATION

If having a conversation with you is like pulling teeth ALL the time I am going to have a serious problem with being excited about talking to you. I thrive on communication. As my twin says... "we are always plugged into the matrix" LOL. Text messaging, Telephone, Email, &, Face-to-Face moments are essential to keeping me happy. If you are not good in one method of communication... Try another! Just don't drop the ball in my lap and then ask... "Why aren't you saying anything".

HAVING CHILDREN

If I meet someone and tell them that I don't want to have any children. As the relationship progresses, I still haven't changed my mind, and my significant other decides that I am the one for them and pops the question. He asks that question knowing that I do not under any circumstance want to have any children. The deal breaker would be if later down the road he tries to make me feel bad in the hopes to have the children that he wanted all along. I would feel angry, trapped and betrayed by his secret hope, as well as by his dishonesty for not telling me his true desires.

It is not healthy for someone who really wants a baby to give that up, and it is not healthy for someone who does not want a baby to go along with having one. This deep and basic issue needs to be dealt with head-on, early in a relationship, before people move ahead with commitment and marriage.

BETRAYAL

Dishonesty and infidelity can often be deal-breakers, depending upon the situation. Some people can learn from and grow through these difficult situations, while for others the wound is too deep to repair. Dishonesty about money can also be a deal-breaker, such as finding out that your mate is earning money by selling drugs or through some other illegal operation. I am not interested in that kind of life. And if you make a decision in the name of US then WE should be informed well before closing any deal...

So what's your deal breaker?



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Stop skippin your remedial class. It’s the finals you gonna need it to pass. Keep my name out ‘cha mouth and your mind on ya task. If you feel that I’m talking about you in these bars, Pick up ya feelins’ grab ya kicks and walk that shyt off… ~ Mos Def

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