My Anti Valentine

I am a romantic at heart... I love being in love and the thought of someone loving me. But since I cannot spend the requisite time with my Honey-Do I have decided to post some of the things that I've come across that take a cynical look at heart day... I found these at meish dot org Enjoy!

Yes, it's that special time of year when chocolate manufacturers and greetings card companies encourage you to demonstrate the extent of your fondness in cold, hard, cash (or the satin-covered equivalent) on February 14th.

Fuck that.

This year, celebrate or commiserate (if you are really a Heart Day Scrooge... LOL) with one of these... My twisted mind found them to be hilarious! Leave a Comment and let me know what you would do if you ever received a card with one of theses sentiments on it. Or worse yet what if your significant or not-so-significant other uttered these words to you...

• Valentine's Day is like herpes: just when you think its gone for good, it rears its ugly head once more. No wonder some people prefer to call it VD.
• You say Valentine's Day is stupid and commercial and meaningless and over-rated and then you moan when I don't get your a card. So, fine: Here's your card... Happy Now?
• I'd rather have a good Cup o' Joe than a bad shag.
• You'll Do.
• This is just to let you know that although I always say that Valentine's Day is stupid and meaningless and commercial etc etc, if you don't get me something really nice, I'm going to go into a massive huff for days and tell all my friends how useless you are, and they'll glare at you witheringly every time they see you for at least the next six mohths! Yes, I'm an effin hypocrite. Any questions?
• I know everything about you. I know where you live. I know what you like to do before bed. I know which washing powder you use. I know where you kee your spare key. I love you.
• (with a pic of an arrow through the heart) It's okay, I didn't need that particular ventricle anyway.
• Uprooted plantlife and sugar-saturated caffeineated fat blocks? (pause) You shouldn't have.
• (printed on a theatre ticket) "Admit One" Single is Good
• You're Chucked.
• SORRY... I won't be giving you my heart this year but I do have another throbbing organ that you might be interested in...
• Happy unimaginative, consumerist-oriented, entirely arbitrary, manipulative & shallow interpretation of romance Day... LOL (This is my favorite of all... LOL)