Diary Of A Peculiar Soul: Getting' Grown

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Getting' Grown

I was on the phone with one of my best girlfriends in the very wee hours of the morning. She just happened to be looking at this little 14 year old girls key ring... You remember back in the day when you got your first key don't ya... We would go out and get all types of key chains to add on to the point that when it actually came time to use that key you were searching all over the place!

Little SideBar... I can remember when I used to get home from school and have this sudden urgency to use the bathroom. You remember the little dance you do when you really have to go right away. Well I must have some type of internal clock that would sound off when I got within a block of my house. LOL

Well anyway, the very inappropriate keyring stated this:

1. PLEASE DON'T TALK TO MY BREAST, YOU WON'T BE MEETING THEM.

2. IF YOU WANT TO CONTROL SOMEONE, SLEEP WITH YOUR REMOTE.

3. I ALWAYS CHOOSE CHOCOLATE OVER MEN.....ALWAYS!!!!!!

4. 51% LOVE GODDESS, 49% BITCH

5 MY SEXUAL PREFERENCE IS "NO"!

6. MY BODY IS A TEMPLE, NOW GET ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY.

7. IT'S NOT THE SIZE THAT COUNTS, IT'S...NO...WAIT....SIZE DOES COUNT.

8. REMEMBER, YOU HORNY PIECE OF DIRT...GIRLS ARE MADE OF SUGAR AND SPICE AND EVERYTHING NICE.

9. MEN ARE LIKE HARDWOOD FLOORS. LAY THEM RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AND YOU CAN WALK ALL OVER THEM FOREVER.

10. SAVE YOUR BREATH FOR YOUR INFLATABLE DATE.

Now I don't have any children but I do carry some maternal instincts that I tap into every now and again. My question is... Would you allow your child to carry around this key ring. Children are growing up so fast these days. My 9 year old niece just asked me if she could have a cell phone for her 10th birthday! I had to take a really long look at her. We have to pay attention to more than their food, clothing, and shelter needs. I am sure there are many things that kids see that I can't imaging seeing when I was growing up in the '70's.

Just my early a.m. observation...

BTW... Today's Woot item was a Wenger Standard Issue Ladies Watch Model 70200 and it sold out at exactly 12:24:46 AM CST. That means that I gotta get in on the action late at night since I live on the East Coast... I'll let you know if I have any success!

Have a productive Day Y'all. I'm off to save the world!



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Stop skippin your remedial class. It’s the finals you gonna need it to pass. Keep my name out ‘cha mouth and your mind on ya task. If you feel that I’m talking about you in these bars, Pick up ya feelins’ grab ya kicks and walk that shyt off… ~ Mos Def

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